I have been really bad at blogging. Life is super busy. Work is taking up a lot of my time, and when I am not working, I am obsessing about my client files. I just have no free brain space to blog.
J and I are at a crossroads in this journey. As much as we want to move forward with some treatment, it is becoming obvious that we need to dedicate ourselves to at least 6 more IUI's or dedicate ourselves to IVF. If we had $20,000 laying around we would probably jump on IVF because I know that at the end of the road there would probably be a baby for us. Hell, we might actually get 2. The problem is that we don't have that kind of money laying around.
Our choices come with high cost. When you factor in the price of sperm at $600/vial (that includes shipping), IUI's are not that cheap. After6 IUI's hell we are at the cost of IVF. Our clinic offers 2 programs for IVF. You can pay OOP for each IVF cycle at a price tag of approximately $12,000. Or you can do what is known as a shared risk program. This is a type of insurance. You pay $15,000-$22,000 and you are guaranteed 3 IVF cycles and 3 FET's (frozen embryo transfer). Here is the risk with that. The goal is to put a baby in your arms. So if we get pregnant and successfully deliver a baby on our first cycle then we have fulfilled the terms of the contract and we have paid approximately $6,000-$8,000 more for that IVF then had we not gone with shared risk. In other words, if you successfully deliver on your first IVF, that is it. You do not get 2 more IVF's and 3 FET's. But if you don't get PG and successfully deliver on the first IVF then hey you have the great fall back to the shared risk program and you have actually saved money.
The pro's are obvious. The first one being that you are not limited to 1 IVF and if you are not successful then hey you have at least 2 more shots (assuming you have no frozen embryos to transfer). The other big pro is less stress. You can say in the back of your mind, hey if this one does not work, the next will. This is huge.
The con is the cost. YIKES. The RE is quick to say hey, when you have a baby in your arms you forget about the cost. Yup, I get it. I would, you are right. But the cost up front is hard to stomach. And if you know me, then you have already realized that I am slow to spend big money. It took me 14 months to buy a car, and 5 of those months the Honda was dead. I like to see my Benjamen's in the bank and know that we always have money to survive on. Now we don't have 20k laying around anywhere. I know we can save it. I can work extra hard at work to make it. It is there but it will take time. But even when we have it, what do we do?
Over the last few weeks, it has become painfully obvious that we are ready now to be parents. I have even decided that a little girl would be fun. This is desperation people. Waiting another year potentially, would mean not having a child in our arms for at least 2 more years. I am pushing that time frame where it is scary to get pregnant and conceive a child that is perfectly healthy. Time is ticking away, and we are helpless. It sucks.
So for now we wait. We are for sure taking the holidays off. I have enjoyed my time off. I have no idea what cycle day I am on. And I am loving the freedom. I want to enjoy the holidays. It is a sacrifice with the clock ticking but it is right for us.
